It's A Sparks Show: Episode 5

I forgot it was Glastonbury weekend so I was up until about 3AM watching the coverage and, in the process, managed to finish this Sparks strip quicker than I expected. Unless there's a sudden outpouring of disappointment followed by hundreds of promises to buy my books (laughs at the very notion), this will probably be my last Sparks strip, at least for a while. It depends on the next few days. I face a tough week. My comedy, my writing and my cartooning have delivered me to the foot of poverty and, after year upon year of trying, I've taken every punch except the last one. I joke about sweeping the streets but having four degrees in a region where people only want plumbers is the same as being completely unqualified. I need to find something. I just don't know what. The blog won't go quiet. I still have a few things scheduled to self-post and I do intend to keep cartooning and working. However, over the next few days, I'll probably be learning hard economic lessons and being mocked for walking into the local job centre with a doctorate in Romantic poetry and more letters after my name than actually in my name… Them: 'So, you want a job that involves ottava rima and metaphysical debates about ennui? How does stocking shelves in Tesco sound?' Me: 'Sounds great!' Since I won't be able to draw more Sparks, a quick word about these strips: I'm not sure how they've been received but I hope it was in the spirit they were written. I have a dark  satirical temperament but these are the least satirical things I've ever done. I merely played around with the mystery that Sparks enjoy in order to create a surreal alternate universe that amused me. I hope I did nothing to offend Ron or Russell Mael, though I suspect they're not even aware of them. They don't strike me as great internet browsers but who knows… Nothing would depress me more than to know that I'd annoyed them, especially Russell whose likeness I just couldn't crack. (That, however, is probably a compliment. Ask any cartoonist and they'll tell you that the better looking somebody is, the harder they are to draw. The last time I struggled this much was trying to draw Tom Cruise. After three month's work, I still never managed it...) I've had plenty of repeat visitors from the UK, the US, and Japan, though I suspect more Sparks fans than fans of my work. So, if you're here for the Sparks magic, I ask that you take a look at my other writing and cartoons. Not all of it is worthless. And if any of you know of any decent jobs in the areas of Manchester and Liverpool, please please email me. Ideally, I'm looking for a job writing tight sardonic prose demanding an occasional cartoon. Failing that, something that won't make me deeply miserable and would leave me at least sixteen hours a day to carry on doing what I love... Well, I can dream can't it? No? I guess I can't. I dreamed for years and look where it got me! Hope to speak to you on the other side… Wish me luck! [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="588"] Click image to enlarge![/caption]